funniest show quote

"move your freakin hoof you goat!!!" if you think you know the show post a comment.

God Answers Prayers!!!

I'm sooo happy!! Last night I prayed about being able to go to Texas, I told God how much I missed Ashley and wanted to see Alden and such. When I woke up I got TWO texts from Ashley saying it's okay for me to come out on the dates I told her!!! God is so wonderful. God answered two of my prayers in less than twenty-four hours, how's that for proof of His love? One lesser detail: I got a really good deal on a ticket!!"the happiest day of my life is the day that i died"

http:/...

http://www.sacwriters.com/quizzes/dumb/zero.gif yey me!! i feel surprisingly smart. check it out.the weirdest thing just happened. i was at target just lookin around n all of a sudden i hear this voice oh hey val i know you you were in my class. u know when you cant see whos talking to you? yeah it was like that. so i ended up talking to her for a bit and man...did she bitch. the teacher we had was awesome, everything a great teacher should be but she was obviously pretty bitter about getting a C when i got an A. i told her the school wouldnt let me into the classes i originally signed up for and the teachers were like "and we care why" to which she seemed sympathetic. we just exchanged what happened in the last month or so and she just kept bitchin about this teacher. in my head i was like God please let something happen so she walks away. not even a min later alden called. (see...God does come thru) after that i'm just like ok bye and went on talking to alden. i'm so glad i have friends that can call me whenever...oh yeah and a cell. ok my story's done. i find it strange that i post a few postings a day rather than everyday just one.

over and over again i am spiraling

last night was really long. i babysat this really cute lil girl named amy, if you know her you know what i mean. shes just so adorable im considering having a kid and trading for her lol. i got to talk to alden again too (yey!!). i like talking to him in case you hadnt guessed. hes one of the more intelligent guys ive ever met. and he isnt concerned about the sexual stuff that could happen. i'm frustrated today, completely unrelated to last night except that i'm still kind of tired. i want to see ash and alden so much, but ash isnt cooperating. i even found a really good deal on a ticket but she said she couldnt say its okay till almost February. how screwed up is that? but i guess if its planned it will happen. if you remember, pray for me on that. love yall post loving comments haha

why me....this is such a strange way to save the world

i know: i wonder what could be so bad/ that it makes you want to die/ i wonder what could be so tragic/ makes you want to take your life/ you have your Savior on the cross/ while you sit on the throne/ put yourself up on that cross/ and put your Savior on the throne/ i know its hard to take whats happening/ and i know life is tough sometimes/ i know it seems like theres no hope for you/ but i know your life is worth more than you can see/ its hard to see beyond your pain/ when you feel so dead inside/ its hard to see what youve been given/ its hard to find the hope in life/ and i say look at Jesus' hands/ those scars are there for you/ you know he understands/ what youre going throughcandy: so many nights wasted/ poisoning myself/ i guess i just hated/ the emptiness i felt/ to be accepted/ gotta look like they do/ but you held your hand out/ you took me just as i am/ your loves like candy/ or like something never tasted before/ you take me places/ never dreamed i could go/ oh ive been laughed at/ and broken in two/ and i felt the wrath that/ words of hate can do/ and ive been stranded/ and left standing in the rain/ but you picked my head up/ you carried me away from this placemy struggle: must be some mistake/ cuz i'm not worth the price you paid/ with every passing hour/ i convince myself that you saw something in me/ i can hear them still/ as the whispers laced with hatred fill the room/ i guess i'm wasting my time/ how could you love (someone) like me?/ lord i need your strength/ cuz i am weak and fallin to my knees/ who is on my side/ cuz i cant tell my friends from enemies/ i'm filling up with pain/ and bitterness controls the air i breathe/ what am i fighting for/ or do you have a plan for me/ must be some mistake/ cuz i'm not worth the price you paid...more: do you really want to know me/ not just where i live/ do you really want to know me/ not just by the color of my skin/ do you really want to know me/ not just by the things i did/ if you really got to know me/ well it might take a little time/ cuz i am more than what i look like/ and i am more than where ive been/ and i am more than what they say about me/ i'm more, i'm more than what you see/ do you really want to know him/ man who lives under that bridge/ do you really want to know him/ and hear about the life hes lived/ if you really got to know him/ you might just be a bit surprised/ of how he lost his job in 1983/ and how that cancer got his wife/ he is more than what he looks like/ he is more than where hes been/ he is more than where hes ended up to be/ he is more, he is more than what you see and i am more than what i look like/ and i am more than where ive been/ and i am more than what they say about meWhat have we becomeJust look what weve doneAll that weve destroyed you must build again...

everythin...

everything good is always interrupted but something counter productive.

i dont mind spending everyday/out on your corner in the pouring rain....

i never have to leave you aloneif you dont want me tohow does it feel to knowi'm tangled in youits not a matter of what to doits what you needthat is all i seethat is how its supposed to beeveryone has secrets andi want to share mine with youi want to let you inso take my hand andnever give it backi want you that badbut we dont know what to doi'm not satisfied till you penetrateand i let you in my skinthis is about wanting so much to be close to someone but there is nothing that can be done.

previous poem

i wrote this on 12/9/03 and just recently found it inside my binder from last semester. just thought i'd post it and see if anyone notices. hit me back, not necessarily on this posting either.nobody knows what its liketo feel pain this wayto be sad constantlynobody understandswhat its like to be hatedto be labeled for someone elses eyesnobody tends to seemy side of the storynot saying "poor me"but their actions are so deliberateit takes prominence over everythingand confiscates me, depletes menobody tries to findthe happiness i might have insidethe lost part of mei hope no one ever seesits all i am beneath the surfaceits the curse bestowed on meon my last leg of livingand this is all i feelthis is all nobody seeks "deep down it hides."

finally not sad

I am ecstatic today. I cannot wait until I am baptized. I think I will feel so much closer personally and spiritually to God and that is something I definitely need. Lately, in preparation I guess, I have been considerably trying to harmonize my life according to God’s ways and commandments for my life. Being baptized is like recommitting my life to Christ Jesus and that means I need to make some changes in my life so I can be more like Him. Like my friend Faith told me a few weeks ago, being baptized is my public profession of my interminable love, faith, and belief for Jesus and it says I follow Him alone. I do not want to begin generating life changes proceeding my baptism, so I am starting now. If I start afterwards I am not sure if I will completely follow through or if all the changes will stick with me because so many things will also be changing and too much change at once will bombard me. In that situation, I am likely to forget the new changes and relapse back into the old. What would be the point in starting to change my ways in the first place?

today was so...

today was so fuckin difficult. i teach this class of 4 and 5 year olds every other monday. the girl above me surprised me and didn't tell me that there is no curriculum this semester!! its going to be a play by ear thing, that makes the whole classroom so choatic. last semester i had a big prob with things being choatic, so wtf why not just extract the curriculum? its so frustrating!! i've had so much trouble with this girl since she began the job of corrdinating the classes. i tried to take a short nap before i had to work at 5 but it was so hard, i had the greenwheel songs stuck in my head, mainly "silence speaks louder than words sometimes but not everybody listens." a sign perhaps? lol i watched these 2 kids tonight to help out the lady who gives me body wraps. her kids were terrible!! the little girl cries over everything. she insisted she eat her food on the floor!! the little boy wouldnt take a bath then wouldnt get out. i'm just so drained from today. then when i got home my mom got on my ass about taking more than just one English class. with everything else going on and possibly going on, i'm going to be burned out if i take another class. i know it seems a bit like a waste of a semester but its better than burning out. i wish someone was on cuz i need to talk to someone, i'm going to drown in my own opinion.

we were meant to live for something more

i've had these Greenwheel songs roaming in my mind most of the day, even when i was sleeping......weird. they are from the soma holiday cd, in case you want to get yo self a copy. i've had hollow man stuck in my haed too but i have to work in 30 mins, maybe i'll type it on here later tonight.sustain you - so far away not knowing how to handle the distance between avoiding situations that will show that this is not the same try to see through my window i cant but i will sustain you as long as i can bearthe thought of humbly keeping silence is my answer i will remain here quietly seething as the crowd moves in roaring to carry me away ive always kept this push from shoving the edge closer now its true enough i have nothing left to saybreathe - i played the fool today and i cant see us vanishing into the crowd longing for home again but home is a feeling ive buried in you i'm all right it only hurts when i breathe i cant ask for things to be still again i cant ask for you to offer the world through your eyes longing for home again but home is a feeling i've buried in you my window through which nothing hides and everything sings i'm counting the signs and cursing the miles in between disappear - everythings not right where did you go you forgot about all youve left behind its all on the table and you wonder why you cant hurt anymore your emotions just cant be seen in light youre lost in here you just disappear you deny the pain that overcomes deep inside youve kept it there too long grayest skies, answers bleeding through sunlight, cast its shadows over alllouder than words - underming your intentions silence speaks louder than words sometimes but not everybody listens be known to all who'd only shut their mouths can you hear me now its a small price to pay altho there may be indiscretion

missin you......missin me?

i miss all my friends. especially ashley. i was hanging out with some friends tonight, including brinny. it was the first time i've been able to see her in over two weeks, you dont know how much i missed her. usually i see her a few times a week and we talk when theres free minutes, but two weeks of no communication besides a few emails sucked. i'm missing everyone right now. faith. jason. mandy. francesca. brinny. ash. melanie. joy. zena. ken. everyone that lives far away. everyone that lives close that i hardly see. everyone i'm close to. i know i left hella people out, sorry, i miss you too, i guess you just slipped my mind temporarily. everyting with ken is draining me. the doctors at kaiser tell us stuff but refuse to explain it. and looking it up....what a pain, most of the words are very hard to find logical and modern stuff on. i think it's finally hit me that hes deteriorating. he has posturing. a sign that his nervous system and brain stem are slowing going limp and lifeless. i have such writers block. i want to write, now would be the perfect time to squeeze out more for my book, all this indescribable emotion flowing. but nothings coming, its just blank. i'm stuck in the grind. going more consumed with every breath. i'm all right, it only hurts when i breathe.i know what i need: a tattoo. my next one is going to be a paw print. the inside is going to be like when the tv goes staticy but the lines wll be spaced farther apart. its going to be the outline of a paw print, symbolizing everything i've lost and will lose that will never fade from my realm of being.

the montonous life of a poet

Christmas break is almost over.....everything's felt so monotonous since it began. I can't believe I've only written three pieces in such a long time. One of my pieces written about a month ago was highly praised by my uncle, a well known playwrite from Chicago. It's called Conforming and can be viewed at: http://poetry.com/Publications/display.asp?ID=P3764504&BN=999&PN=7 I wrote something today so I feel oddly successful. It's below. The Colour of Pain (Goes with my book)the colour of pain is indifferentwith every breath it manifestsbringing to life more senselessnessbecause of lovebecause of wants and needs and perseverenceit's all about interferenceand lack of judgement seeping inso far it cannot be seenwithout the pressures of lifelike a fire inside a hollow maneverything is possible if trying is planned